


Olympus.io

by polymerases



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Facebook, Gen, Multi, Social Media, ask us anything, not much storyline going tbh, random formats
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:32:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polymerases/pseuds/polymerases
Summary: Create an account or log in to Olympus.io. Connect with your godly friends and family. Share photos, updates, and incriminating screenshots. Ask the gods your tiniest questions and glean their eternal power. Olympus is the only social networking service you'll need for the next 3,000 years.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> reminiscent of fics i loved literally ten years ago... ask the gods, facebook fics, and love advice columns all in one

**Home -** **Feed**

* * *

**Poseidon** 3 min ago

(sunset.jpg)

The sunset. Clouds and waves and me, posing extravagantly in front of the vast expanse of the ocean. Sea spray in my hair, in my chest hair, in my leg hairs, in my heart. Could you want anything more?

_7 likes, 3 hearts, 1 sad face_

_Comments (8)_ _:_

**Athena** Yea actually put on a shirt

 **Poseidon** U know what? you gonna come onto MY photos, in MY house, and make fun of MY captions?

 **Athena** Yeah I mean the advent of technology isn't going to make me nicer

 **Athena** In fact, it's going to do

 **Athena** The

 **Athena** Exact

 **Athena** Opposite

 **Poseidon** u just don't want me to put on a shirt lmao

* * *

 **Zeus** 10 min ago

Alexa buy corn

_14 laughs_

_ Comments (4): _

**Hades** dumbass

 **Athena** Dad stop, get off the internet you're going to hurt yourself

 **Athena** Wait itshermay did you get him the Echo

 **Hermes** Yeah ...,,,.,.,.,...,,.. kinda regretting it

* * *

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	2. II

**Home -** **Feed**

* * *

**Gaea, the All-Mother** 1 hour ago

 _Link:_ _Climate Change Is Real—Here's How We Help — New Light Times _

Food for thought! We can ELIMINATE climate change if we work together to eliminate all humans! They're a SCOURGE on our beautiful Earth and it's IRRESPONSIBLE not to consider taking them ALL out. Send this to 10 of your friends across the pantheon in 2 minutes to spread the word about our problems. If you can't spare 2 minutes of your life to spread the news to the Norse, the Egyptians, the Chinese, and the Romans, what kind of god are you becoming?

_1 like, 92 angry faces, 6 laughing faces_

_Comments (914):_

**Aphrodite** idek haha i mean they give us offerings and things, they're useful and i like them ! (heart emoji) (cat with heart eyes emoji) we can just teach them to conserve more, arty is already working on that

 **Athena** This is a terrible plan, u grandma, sit your racist behind down

 **Zeus** the_wise_one You gotta forgive her, she's from another time.

 **Athena** We Don't Excuse People Who Say Ignorant Things. They might not know any better, but it's our job to educate them. otherwise we perpetuate a climate of acceptance for bigotry.

 **Gaea, the All-Mother** I can't take this DISRESPECT! Humans are disgusting, and we CAN'T ignore their senseless destruction of our climate. It's a MOCKERY of our power. Let's STAND for what we BELIEVE and and stop this MADNESS! Send this to 10 of your friends across the pantheon in 2 minutes to spread the word about... _Expand comment_

 **Hermes** i can't tell if she's joking or if all of this is just an email chain that Chaos sent her or something lmao

_(view 908 more...)_

* * *

_Advertisement_

Want to get closer to mortals to increase your godly power and ensure your longevity in this rapidly-secularizing world? **Let them ask you questions!** Click the all-new 'Question' box on your profile to access questions from across the mortal pantheon. **Upgrade to PRO for unlimited questions per day.**

* * *

 **Zeus** 2 hours ago

(me-and-a-woman jpg)

Really enjoyed hanging at the Pro-Am golf tournament with Cecelia_Reyes! She's a charming, intelligent, sweet woman and mortals are lucky to have her. I'll see you around, Miss Cecelia...

_1 angry face_

_Comments are turned off for this post._

* * *

**Hermes** 2 hours ago

 _Poll:_ Which Big Three god is the most likely to skip tipping the mailman?

Zeus 58%

Poseidon 12%

Hades 30%

_5 likes, 3 laughs, 1 angry face, 1 sad face_

_Comments (2):_

**Apollo** Passive aggressiveness spotted (eyes emoji) (eyes emoji)

 **Poseidon** thank u hermay i treat the mailman right

* * *

 **Zeus** 3 hours ago

 **Question:** What's your favorite food? _-Dinosaurs9xx_

 **Answer:** Thank you for your question dinosaurs nine exclamation mark I am at the California Pro-Am Golf Tournament at the moment and let me tell you these little tomato ricotta things are the best exclamation mark finished alright hey Siri call Cecelia

_1 angry face_

_Comments (2):_

**Artemis** You're inept dad i think you just used dictation and now mom's asking me where you are

 **Hera** call me when you can sweetie :)


	3. III - Welcome, Percy Jackson

**Home —** **Feed**

**Welcome,** **Percy Jackson** (Not you? _Log out )_

 

—

 

 **Percy Jackson** _2 minutes ago (_ _Edit )_

 **Question:** Will any of the demigods get on [Olympus.io](http://Olympus.io) or is this site exclusively for gods? _— Neifz_

 **Answer:** good question. I have an account for some godforsaken reason, and so do most of my friends. We post demigod memes about dying horrible deaths and such, so we have a pretty good community going here. Thank the gods for friends lists so I don’t have to read all of the gods’ bickering lol

_17 likes, 5 laughs_

 

_Comments (3):_

**Jason Grace** aphrodite be goonin

 **Nico di Angelo** big mood, I made the mistake of friending Persephone (upside down smiley face emoji)

 **Nico di Angelo** not @ing her or else imma die

 **Annabeth Chase** If I get another request from Arachne i’m literally gonna delete my account

 

—

 

You have 4 pending requests:

o **Aphrodite** _Accept_ _Decline_

o **Eros** ****_Accept_ _Decline_

o **Mrs. Dodds** _Accept_ _Decline_

o **The Time Lord xXx** _Accept_ _Decline_

 

—

 

 **Poseidon** _19 minutes ago_

 **Question:** Will any of the demigods get on [Olympus.io](http://Olympus.io) or is this site exclusively for gods? _— Neifz_

 **Answer:** I’m friends with my son @sweatlord8 haha

_11 likes, 5 laughs, 1 sad face_

 

_Comments (5):_

**Percy Jackson** Dad stop you’re embarrassing me

 **Hades** ROFL no please don’t stop !

 **Zeus** How do you see if somebody has accepted your friend request question mark

 **Artemis** @lordz If you’re asking about Thalia, she says sorry she hasn’t had service for a while and just saw this

 **Zeus** @arty I sent her that request 5 months ago though

 

—

 

_Advertisement_

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—

 

 **Nico di Angelo** _1 hour ago_

(text-from-dad.jpg)

So I get that my father was born like 3000 years ago but I just… don’t understand how he still uses text speak from 1992.

_19 likes, 1 angry face_

 

_Comments (8):_

**Percy Jackson** this coming from the 90 year old

 **Will Solace** haha yeah, ur dad is hilarious i love him

 **Thalia Grace** ROFL nico you’re just not in with the t1mes XDXD 1!!!1

 **Nico di Angelo** @cannibalbarbie Shut up you’re embarrassing me

 **Thalia Grace** @ndangelo I’m just your dad

 **Nico di Angelo** @cannibalbarbie Wait why are you friends with my dad on facebook?

 **Thalia Grace** @ndangelo Need to know basis only sorry

 **Nico di Angelo** @cannibalbarbie I need to know

 

—

 

You poked **Annabeth Chase**. (8 pokes pending)

Poke again

 

—

 

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—

 

 **Camp Half-Blood** _4 hours ago_

(amphitheater.jpg)

Come to our end-of-summer concertante extravaganza! Featuring performances by the Athena String Quartet and the all-camp choir led by the Apollo cabin’s Junior Counselor Cherie Tai-yang, we’ll end the summer with a bang! RSVP now for a seat in the amphitheater.

_97 likes, 5 shares_

 

_Comments (4):_

**Malcolm Whittaker** Athena String Quartet is gonna be premiering Cherie Tai-yang’s piece honoring Apollo! Don’t miss this cross-cabin show!

 **Nico di Angelo** Jeez @so-lace why aren’t you leading the choir?

 **Will Solace** @ndangelo u kidding? u have heard me sing before

 **Annabeth Chase** I’ll be there!

 

—

 

 **Annabeth Chase** _4 hours ago_

 **Question:** Hi! I love you so much :3 Ur my favorite demigod. Can I be a daughter of Athena even if I don’t have grey eyes and blond hair? — _anonymous_

 **Answer:** Hi! Yes, the Athena archetype tends to physically manifest itself in blonde hair and gray eyes. But obviously, since gods don’t have actual genetic information to pass on, the actual phenotype of the demigod can vary wildly. In fact, thanks to our improved Seeker programs and our new understanding of demigods’ genetic nature, lately we’ve seen demigods of all types who don’t fit their godly parent stereotype. Children of Minerva in particular tend to skew away from the gray eyes and blonde hair, for reasons that are still unknown to us.

_13 likes, 1 share_

 

_Comments (3):_

**Percy Jackson** so could i be a son of athena

 **Annabeth Chase** @sweatlord8 You’re not smart enough to be one

 **Thalia Grace** this boy just got rekt

 

—


End file.
